The Kappa life
by upside1488
Summary: This is a weird , screwed up story a man called Danny came up in his f***ed up mind . This fan fic is dedicated to PhillyFuntimeLOL , as a " thank you " for being awesome and entertaining his viewers over the years . With the help of mighty writer Haze , twitter(HazeHero115) i was able to put this fic up , plus check his fan fics ( link at his twitter ) :P . Hope you enjoy One Shot


Author: Danny , Haze

Make sure to check out HazeHero115 and his fan fic page /Zk2K7gvWIP . Also drop a follow to Danny DannyHappyZ . Good luck reading !

July 2015 , early morning in the hot summer . Somewhere in the city of Kapparinopolis .

He was spending most of his days of summer at home , locked in his own room with curtains closed. Pretty boring , one would say . All he ever did was play PC games and wank off at cheap , bad quality porn online . His name was Danny . A tall , slim guy . Dark hair , green eyes , silky moustache . Danny was a troll inside , a true weirdo who can play gullible people around the finger and lift his soul by making them believe he's a 21 year old woman . Maybe that's why he didn't have any friends . Danny was sad as his summer days were absolutely garbage . Sitting home and wanking all day wasn't any good for him . One day Danny got tired of living the life of a Cheap ass jabroni . " I HAVE TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER ! ", shouted Danny mad at himself for being so blind ." I must do something about my life ! It can't go on like this ! " . Perhaps Danny's life will change ? Will he go outside and live a healthy life ?Danny stood up infront of a mirror , looking at his reflection . " I am a man now ! I deserve more than cheap low quality shit ! " . Danny grabbed his computer and went straight into the internet to search for a solution to his two hours of intense searching he found it ! The answer ! The solution to his poor , garbage life ! This will change his entire world ! What he found was ... a 240v Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with an elasticised anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with an optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system . " I Will no longer live with these cheap and low quality porn sites ! This is exactly what i need to improve my life . " said Danny to himself . As he was looking at the specs of the doll , he lost himself in his dreams of having it in his room , giving love to it without recieving any resistance of trying to escape his big moisty love . As he was ready to order it , he was scrolling down to find the "purchase" button when he saw the price tag. "Dangit !" , said Danny . The doll wasn't cheap , and it wasn't good news for Danny as he was used to getting shit for free . This is when he decided to get a summer job and earn cash for the doll .He pledged to himself that he WILL get it no matter what . Danny began searching for jobs , but none of them quite fit him . A babysitter ? " I hate those little goblin faced chubby demons which call themselves babies".A newspaper delivey boy? " i hate being up early " Danny thought to himself ... Other jobs required experience which Danny was lacking of . Suddenly a thought went through his mind . " a LEMONADE STAND ! that shit aways works in cartoons "Yes , what a brilliant idea it was. " i'll just sell lemonade in a park , seems like a good place " . The same day he built a stand in a park and spent the day squeezing juicy lemons that he "borrowed" from his neighbor's lemon tree .By the night he had enough lemonade to start selling the next day ...

The next day , City of

Kapparinopolis , Philly's appartment

25 year old guy , looks like a nerd with a mini beard . Philly , but people from his stream knew him as

PhillyFuntimeLOL . After another drunk night stream Philly woke up , took a cold shower and decided to go for a healthy run in the park .He

searched his drawer for his pink manly spandex shorts and a special funny workout T-shirt that he bought for a moment like this one . He bought

it from DICK'S Sporting Goods. He bought it because of the funny phrase that

was written on the T-shirt."I have to exercise in the morning before

my brain figures out what I'm doing" . He wore his "lucky" bandana and brand new Keepo brand sports shoes . Ofcourse he needed some energy for the run .Before the run philly ate a healthy breakfast . A warm cup of Starbucks coffee , a bacon sandwich , left over cake , a bar snickers and BlueBull energy drink for that extra tickle in your balls while running . Seems like he was ready to go out .Without even bothering to clean the mess he left after his meal he was headed towards the doors . As he approached the door he felt a pleasant sensation in his nose . It seemed like the smell was familiar , but he couldn't figure out what it was . Following the hypnotic smell he stumbled upon a plate full of cookies ! It was MommyFuntime'sspecial fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies that were for Philly's sister that was coming home from her long studies in her university . Philly looked at them , his legs began to step closer to them . His arms started reaching the cookies . Philly took one and gave it a slooow tasty lick . He ate one . Then one more . And one more and more and more and more until he ate them all. With a smug on his face he left the house and was headed to the park .Fifteen minutes later Philly reached the park . It was his favorite place to be . A cool morning breeze , the calm bird serenade , the hobos and hipsters sitting under the trees , using the bushes as toilets . What's there not to love ? The park lifted Philly's soul , sadly you can't say the same about his shape . Knees weak , arms are heavy , he's exhausted and sweaty , dying already . His mouth was dry as heck . Luckily for him there was a stand in the near distance . " Water ! I feel like death has visited my mouth " said philly. He still had a little bit of energy that was granted by the silly Bluebull energy drink . He grabbed his balls and with his last breath he ran over to the stand . As he reached the stand he was completely out of breath . Heart punding , body sweating . He wasn't ready for such physical activity . Philly tried to breathe in some air but he started to lose control over his body and then he plunged on the ground . Seems like he has a while he starts to wake up , but Philly's body was still weak . He couldn't see well , the image was blury and dark . He rubbed his eyes and it seemed to help him .He opens his eyes again and see's the stand he was trying to reach . ( Fake brittish accent ) " So you're still alive you bloody bugger . Get off my fucking turf you bloody wanker! You smell like a dead pig , you filth . Go on now ! You're scaring away my customers ! " . " Who said that ? " Philly didn't quite figure out from where the voice came from . " Up here ! What are you blind ? " . " Can...Can you help me...I need water , or something drinkable . Please ! " Philly's voice was toneless , his throat was dried out . " This ain't no charity stand . Pay up buddy . Nobody gets shit for free from me here . " . Philly still couldn't see the man himself . " I don't have any money on me ... Please ... I need water " . Few moments of silence ... " Alright , can't afford a dead pig laying around my bussiness place . Must think about the other customers ..." The man wasn't pleased , you could clearly tell that by his angry voice . Philly had no power in him left . He was still on the ground . Not sure dead or alive . ( angry brittish accent ) " There you go you ... " he didn't finish his sentence as if something disrupted him . Philly was unresponsive , so the man helped him out to drink .With the first drops of liquid in philly's mouth , he instantly freshened up . His eyes were open , his limbs were moving again . Soon enough he finally stood up . Philly then finally looked at the man . His pupils enlarged , his look was silly . Philly felt something tickling in his body . No , it wasn't Bluebull tickling his balls . It was his heart . Philly never saw anyone like that man . His deep green eyes , that sexy moustache , the lips , the shiny yellow teeth ! Philly never felt this way before , he ... he's in love ! He was just standing there like a statue , lovestruck . ( Same Brittish accent ) "Erm... Why on earth are you looking at me that way ? Hey ! I'm talking to you , pig".Those words shattered the ice that froze Philly in place. "W...What ?". Philly started to blush infront of the man. He "What was that all about ? Did someone squash your bloody balls with a door ? " . Philly tried to play it cool and sound like nothing happened . " Oh...Uh...It's nothing...nothing..." He clearly failed to hide his nervousness. " Well then , you better get moving . You better return me those 5 dollars you owe me for the drink " . " I will , i will ... uhm ... So what is your name ? " Philly was still nervous and blushing . " Lord Kane . Our lord and savior Kane " . " N...Nice to meet you , lord kane " . " Aw cmon , you really think that's a legitimate name ? The name's Danny . You can still use the lord part , sounds great with my name " . " Uhm ... Would you ... like to go out tomorow ... " Philly's voice was cracking , he was sweating and could barely speak up . " What !? " Danny wasn't expecting anything like that . " Well ... I would like to thank you for the life saving drink ... And ... I could repay you with a movie ... maybe dinner ? " . ( Danny thinking to himself , no longer in a brittish accent ) Hmmm ... This guy is offering me dinner and a movie ? ... Well dang , i do love free shit ... Cause it's free ! . Well , not many customers around anyway so ... " Alright , dinner sounds like a good enough reward for all the work i did to save your dying ass " . Philly didn't expect him to accept his invite , his heart fueled up with joy ! . "We can meet tomorow at 8 pm ... By that fountain in the Kappa street ... I-If that's okay with you " . " Well , fine . I'll be there . Now get out and let me sell my lemonade . " . Philly couldn't even say goodbye as he was speechless . Akwardly trying to wave him goodbye he then left the park and headed home .

Thirty minutes later , Philly's appartment .

It took him more time to get back since he was fatigued . He still couldn't believe what happened . Nobody was still home . Philly took a long bath , then he went off to lie on his bed . He couldn't do anything else appart from day dreaming about tomorow . He actually spend more than 2 hours day dreaming . The rest of his day he spent with only Danny on his mind . He could not get him out of his head ... Well , not that he wanted to . Realising it was late evening he went to bed to be ready for tomorow's meetup . Even in his dream he only saw Danny .

Next day in the city of Kapparinopolis.

The next morning, Philly woke up with that thought of Danny from last night. Deciding what he will do, he quickly ran into the bathroom and gave himself a nice, relaxing shower.

His mind drawing that magnificent image of Danny. A glint in his eye, he smiled at the thought of both him and Danny. Alone.

Philly walked down the parks path, stopping only to pick up some flowers. He also met a nice rabbit girl named Cream who was making a flower crown for her mother, he asked her to help him make one for a special person to which the young girl accepted. When they were done, Cream ran towards her mother leaving Philly to admire the crown he made, gulping down some fear. He continued down the path, reaching the lemonade stand. At the counter was Danny. Philly's heart pumped loudly in his chest, Danny's face, troll smile and everything else made him feel like a school girl with a on a straight face, Philly slowly stepped towards the stand, a spark of jealousy when another person was talking to Danny. "Listen Danny, I'm not writing that fan-fic unless you give me some credit." The scarred man spoke at Philly's lover, but luckily Danny waved him off, "Don't worry man, I'll do it for you, maybe give you a small appearance. Deal?" Danny shook the man's hand as he walked away, towards a rainbow haired woman sitting on a bench looking bored, but that disappeared when the man suddenly vanished in a cloud of smoke and reappeared next to her, surprising her with a kiss. The scene made Phily's heart clench in frustration, sighing out his frustration, he neatened his hair and walked up to Danny. Smashing his hands on the counter knocking Danny out of his Kappa face, Philly's eye twitched, "Who was that guy?" Danny laughed. "A good friend of mine," Philly, jealousy in his mind kept asking questions. "What did he want?!". "Why was he here?" Danny having enough placed his hands on Philly's shoulders, making him melt from the touch. "Don't be jealous. Either way, he's already got a girlfriend. Look." He pointed at the two as the rainbow haired woman which surprised Philly since she had a pair of cyan wings causing her to fly up. The man, 'Maze' Philly thought his name was, laughed and looked on in awe as the woman flew in the air, doing stunts that no aircraft could do. He watched on as she lowered and positioned herself upside down and kissed the man. Shaking out his thoughts, Danny smirked and said in a fake British accent, "Your early aren't you?" Philly stuttered, "I..I. wanted to see you before we went to the restaurant." Danny's smile got wider, Danny whispered seductively in Philly's ear. "I would enjoy that," Danny's kappa face inched slowly on his jumped over the lemonade stand and dragged Philly along the ground. Eventually when Philly managed to move his legs, stopped Danny near the park entrance. "I got a gift for you. " Danny watched in shock as Philly placed the flower crown on his head. 'Wow, free shit is amazing.' Was what echoed in Danny's mind. The two walked out of the path, Philly subconsciously gripped Danny's hand causing Danny to smirk and squeeze Philly's hand. Philly led Danny through Kappa Street where at the end of the street was The Kappa Dream.A fancy yet a pub like restaurant, equipped with the best bar and liquor of all time. The perfect place of all time. Philly strolled ahead and opened the door for Danny, Philly became a school girl again as Danny stroked his cheek on the way past, making it feel like his balls were squeezed amazingly, in a daze. Philly went to the reservation and brought a table for two that was also close to the bar."Tell me about yourself." Danny suddenly asked as Philly placed his head on his cupped hands, admiring Danny. "Well, I'm a streamer known as PhillyFunTimeLOL. And I'm pretty famous." Danny stared into Philly's eyes, "Mmm, that must be fun." The word trailed on his tongue, melting. Philly from the seductiveness. "Tell me about yourself." Danny suddenly asked as Philly placed his head on his cupped hands, admiring Danny. "Well, I'm a streamer known as PhillyFunTimeLOL. And I'm pretty famous." Danny stared into Philly's eyes, "Mmm, that must be fun." The word trailed on his tongue, melting Philly from the seductiveness. " mmm . Yeah . It's kinda a big deal you know , getting those viewers and playing games " Philly couldn't resist boasting about himself . "And ... What do you do ? " . The only thing that came to Danny's mind is how he wanked off the whole summer . For the first time after he met Philly he remembered the doll he wanted to buy , but he quickly dropped that thought . " It would be supper creepy if i would tell him that" . Danny decided to simply lie . " Not much , hanging around , selling lemonade , you know ... simple things " . "I didn't really ask this before . What were you selling the lemonade for ? Were you gonna spend the money on something ?" . Danny couldn't tell him that he wanted a freaking sex doll ... " I was gonna give the money to charity ... " He couldn't believe he said something this stupid . Give away your money ?! " That's very nice of you , it shows how you care about people " philly gave Danny a friendly smile . As they continued their chat , a young good looking waiter arrived their table and handed them the menu . After a few moments of looking through the menu , " What will you order ? " Philly already has made up his choice. However Danny hasn't been to fancy restaurants before . Danny's mind - " What the fuck is this ... Half of these are random as heck . " He looked through the names of the dishes . Drinks - Cancer in a jar , Goat's milk , Fizzy drink surprise , coffee ... Starters - Beggar's Sallad , Snail with pesto , Tasty shrimps. Main - Sexy crab , Swimming duck , Horny chicken with potatoes , Uncle Herschel's Favorite , Chocolate Thunder From Down Under . Desserts - Rhubarb Eton Mess , Tiny Raspberry Fools , Summer Berry Grunt ,Strawberry Eton Mess . So many options , it was hard to pick . " I'll have the same you " Danny was completely lost in the menu . The waiter took their order and the date continued .

The date went swimmingly in Danny's mind, he saw that Philly enjoyed it so he himself enjoyed. The more he stared at Philly, the more he wanted to take a picture of the man and wank off to it, but he held his head. After they finished their dessert, Philly took Danny's hand and led him to the restaurants bar where a heavy African American bodybuilder stood at the counter serving drinks. A pair of dogtags hung around his neck, Philly went up to the bar and ordered a strong drink of alcohol. Danny was intimidated by the bartender but refused to speak less he get his balls ripped off, the only balls he wanted to touch was Philly's own balls. While Philly touched his, that dream made Danny drool until he was snapped out by another bartender, this time, this guy looked like a geek but without the glasses. Danny sighed at his ruined fantasy and ordered a drink, he watched Philly take slow sips out of his drink and looked at Danny with a seductive smirked as a highlight of a Kappa face appeared under his face, he leaned over to Philly and took his drink allowing him to sip out of it before giving it back, winking along the way. Philly once again felt like a school girl as his face turned red, Danny grinned as he drunk out his own the two finished their drinks and became a bunch of drunken twats as they strolled through town. Laughing and drinking, Danny giving a tease of touching Philly's ass which made Philly almost fall over while Danny led him towards his apartment.

They went to Philly's home and made love to each other, after all of this, the two had three babies. Burger , Silver , BeanBox . One of which was cooked in the oven which they refuse to talk about while the other two lived happily with them and escaped at the age of 17 to avoid them. But they lived happy ever after

Meanwhile, the very same scarred man stood at Danny's lemonade stand, the night sky showed a beautiful array of stars and the moon itself. The man had his eyes trained on the apartment the two made 'love'. He chuckled as he counted the money in his hands. The same two bartenders looking pissed off, "Told you two that I knew what I was doing." The geek looking person replied to the scarred man. "You got lucky Haze, next time, we'll win these bets." Again Haze laughed, "We'll see Mark, we'll see." He moved his hand to remove the brown contact lenses out of his eyes revealing his purple ones. "Anyway, let's find some more victims to arrange, shall we?" The three laughed as they walked away out of the area.


End file.
